Friday, October 8, 2010
I was doing StumbleUpon and I found this! ROFL!
HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF
- Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write "for my entertainment."
- Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
- If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
- Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
- Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
- Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
- Practice making fax and modem noises.
- Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
- Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
- Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
- Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
- Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
- Staple pages in the middle of the page.
- Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
- Honk and wave to strangers.
- Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
- TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
- type only in lowercase.
- dont use any punctuation either
- Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
- Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
- As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
- Ask people what gender they are.
- While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
- Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
- Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
The Man From Peru
There once was a man from peru
who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke with a fright
in the middle of the night,
to find that his dream had com true.
(spongebob squarepants Sleepy Time episode)
Monday, October 4, 2010
I was reading "A Kiss in Time" andI read that Talia said that the women in the modeling agency looked "skinny and sickly". So True! That is what they're trying to sell us. That we have to be stick thin or we aren't beautiful, but the thing they aren't telling us is that that isn't beauty at all. Everyone is beautiful. Everyone is different. Lets not model ourselves after someone who isn't us.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
I just got finished watching the last session of General Conference. It was really good! Here are some of the highlights of some of the talks:
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
The Warm Fire
How I love to sit by the fire
And read a book,
Or sit and inquire.
How I love to sip hot herb tea,
To feel it’s warm decency.
These little things are essential to
Help you feel more like you.
If these things that we enjoy,
Disappeared or would deploy,
Our life worth living would cease to exist,
It would be boring and dull,
Motivation would become as mist.
So we should enjoy these little things
Like taking a walk,
or sewing a seam.
This makes life worth living.
Were meant to dream!
Lets put our sorrow behind,
Forgive our siblings,
Or tame our pride,
And live life to the fullest
For that is what’s best,
Because who wants a life
With no happiness.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Last week, My Mother and I went to Olive Garden and got Bruschetta. I've tasted Bruschetta before, but wasn't pleased, as well as when we got to Olive Garden. I wasn't pleased. It was just okay, so my Mom says, "Lets go get the ingredients and make our own Bruschetta!" So I'm all like okay!
A couple of days later and we get to the task. We bought some cheese bread, basil, and roma tomatoes. Here is the recipe: http://www.recipezaar.com/Tomato-and-Basil-Bruschetta-44232
We make it. Toast the bread to a crisp, stir in the balsamic vinegar; I take a bite, and the most wonderful flavors married into a taste that I will never forget.
Why does food make us feel so good? Same thing happened when I had Miso Salmon at The Cheesecake Factory. If I could move to France or Italy, somewhere where food is the culture, I would be the happiest young women ever. I really need to marry a Chef...
If anyone is reading this blog, anyone, what is a food that has engraved it's taste in your mind that you've had in your life, comment. I would love to know ;-)